At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
