I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
