apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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