The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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