She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
you made out with another girl for some wings
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize