I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
he told me I talked like a deaf person
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
