Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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