Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
