from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
