im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize