that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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