you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
this just has baby written all over it
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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