So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
