i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
we're making bets on your personal life
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
we should paint friendship bongs
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