Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
