the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
