Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
