Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
