'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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