I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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