called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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