from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
she looked like the before picture.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
