In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
