I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Of course I have a pirate flag
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
