just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
