It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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