Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
high people should be assigned attendants
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
