SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
