idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
