I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
