That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize