I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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