Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
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