It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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