Pants 0. Shit 1.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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