i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize