Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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