so explain again why im purple
no
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
