so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
