the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
he puts the penis in happiness.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Drunk is not a location!
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
