Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
