Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
