I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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