We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You dont lie about slip and slides
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
