It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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