I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Randomize
