hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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