Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Randomize
