So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
