Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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