i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
