She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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