Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
