So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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