We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
