He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize