Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
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