But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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