You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
