Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
