3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
