Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
