Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
