I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize