i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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