Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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