I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
