He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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