is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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