How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
