I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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