problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
